Every relationship has its ups and downs, but sometimes these challenges couples experience becomes a cycle and after years of being together and ignoring the issues couples face burying the disagreements until it piles up so much it feels like it becomes too many to tackle. Sounds familiar?
Read on…
Whether it’s consistent disagreements or arguments, feeling unheard, and communication issues couples wait too long to find solutions and seek help. The truth of the matter is, couples therapy isn’t just when the relationship is in crisis mode- it’s also to deepen the connection, learn healthier communication styles, and create safety and security. It’s not what you argue about its HOW you argue that is the problem. So, how do you know its time to seek couples’ therapy?
1. Lack of communication
I believe this is one of the main factors that break couple’s up. Healthy communication is the core foundation of many good relationships. When conversations are met with constant defensiveness, criticism, stone walling (shutting down), or overall avoiding conversations- this can be a sign it’s time to seek guidance.
2. You both feel like you are in a repetitive cycle of arguments
When arguments aren’t solved, the same argument in different forms will keep building. Whether it’s finances, lack of accountability, lack of empathy or emotional care, co-parenting, or different parenting styles recurring conflicts reflect a deeper emotional need that aren’t being met in the relationship. Couples therapy help you uncover core root of the issues.
3. Intimacy Has Faded
It’s normal to feel the passion in your relationship ebbs and flows, but when there is a lack of intimacy or that it’s non-existent, couples therapy can help strengthen and build intimacy again. At times, disconnection and/or resentment pushes people away from intimacy. Couples therapy provides a safe space to explore those thoughts and feelings and process them.
4. Lack of Trust
Infidelity, past trauma, trust issues built over time can be deeply wounding to the relationship. Healing from betrayal and working through it in couples therapy can help repair the relationship. Couples therapy can help support partners in this process and build safety and security again.
5. You feel like roommates rather than partners
If you feel like you are living parallel lives and you have been on autopilot for a long time- raising kids, working, running a household, disconnection can occur in your relationship. Working together to build the connection and partnership in couples therapy by reigniting the partnership and sharing a common purpose in therapy will be important when working with a couples therapist.
6. Going through a life transition
Big life changes such as marriage, illness, relocating, having a child, or career shifts can disrupt the balance of the relationship. Working through this with a therapist can help to process and be on the same page. Therapy helps preventing stress from turning into resentment or disconnection.
7. Relationship difficulties
Whether it’s issues with a partner, family member or friend unresolved conflicts and communication issues can lead to constant arguments and resentment. Therapy can work through these issues to build boundaries and strengthen connection with both partners.
8. You want to strengthen your relationship
Every couples relationship ebbs and flows. With that being said couples therapy isn’t a fix it all perspective. Therapy can be preventative before it becomes too late to deal with challenges. Therapy can help improve communication, deepen connection and prepare for the future. It is like maintenance on the relationship.
9. Partners are consistently defensive
In a relationship there is one partner who may be more defensive and it just feels like the conversations are going in circles and there is no resolution. In couples’ therapy, the therapist guides the client to improve communication between partners and have an understanding so that both partners feel heard.
10. You feel disconnected from your partner
Emotional disconnection is a real problem in a relationship. If you have felt connection at the beginning of your relationship and it has dissipated along the way, it’s time to seek couples’ therapy. Therapy will help explore the disconnection and learn other ways to connect. Some couples lose the connection because of life transitions or when kids are involved and all the focus is on them for years. Along the way, the couples struggle to focus on themselves. Couples therapy helps rebuild the relationship.
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I offer a free phone consultation to help you decide if we’re a good fit for each other and to answer any questions you might have before you begin.